Tolman's Tales | Moms wear many hats
May 7, 2010 · 11:24 AM
The older I get, the more appreciative I become about my mother, my kids’ mother and mothers in general. As a typical guy who can only do one thing at a time, I am amazed at how many hats Moms wear. Mothers everywhere, here’s a tip of my hat to so many that you constantly wear.
Accountant. Handling the finances, saving what she can.
Anti-depressant. Knowing how to turn a child’s sadness into a smile with a snack and warm hug.
Barber and Manicurist. Clipping nails and trimming hair on growing, fidgety children.
Bodyguard. Making sure her children are always safe.
Bus driver. A jillion miles a year rushing from practice to appointment to home.
Chef. Three meals a day, 365 days a year; 1,095 meals per year composed of the needed food groups, absent excessive fat and calories, served with love.
Cheerleader. Encouraging kids to always play hard, but have fun.
Comedian. Being able to cut tension in the family with funny story or phrase.
Comforter. Someone to snuggle up to when you are cold.
Confidant. Every secret, every crush, every day’s ups and downs pass through mom.
Counselor. The sounding board for each family member’s troubles. A kid at school who is being a bully. A broken heart. A mean sibling.
Director of research and development. Investigating bargains and thinking of how to improve the house and surroundings.
Doctor. Moms can diagnose an ear infection in their children at 20 paces, knowing when they feel bad almost before they do, by the way they look or act.
Emergency Medical Technician. Mothers handle emergent medical matters almost daily. Salving cuts. Bandaging scrapes. Their bedside manner encouraging the injured child to go out and play again.
Encourager. Gently pushing kids into unknown territories that will stretch their abilities, experiences and opportunities.
Etiquette advisor. Making sure thank-yous are sent, pleases are said and bodily noises are absent from the dinner table.
Fan. At every ball game, concert and recital, always encouraging and smiling with pride.
Fashion coordinator. Choosing clothes that fit and are functional at a reasonable price.
Florist. Planting, weeding, watering and harvesting flowers to make the house aromatic and colorful.
Guide. Keeping perspective, keeping kids and a spouse moving in the right direction.
Historian. Passing on the family history, and family characters, from generation to generation.
Hostess. Always making sure guests are well fed and comfortable when they come to her home.
Housecleaner. From oiled cabinets to clean floors and windows, moms make sure their home is clean, organized and presentable.
Interior decorator. Creating a warm “nest” with the personality of the family living in it.
Judge. Adjudicating disputes between siblings so that each feels their side was heard.
Launderer. Making sure everyone’s clothes are washed and ready when needed.
Lead singer. Sharing show tunes and songs about animals with laughing babies and singing toddlers.
Lover. When she has the time, energy and opportunity.
Marathon runner. Up early, awake late, making sure the family and house run smoothly.
Model. Always looking great on nights out.
Painter. Changing bedroom and bathroom colors from time to time, just for the new, fresh look.
Personal shopper. Constantly knowing every family member’s size and style preference.
P.E. teacher. Getting the kids outside to exercise and play.
Police officer. Keeping the kids (and spouse) in line with firm but fair discipline.
Psychic. Knowing where everything in the house is at all times. Being constantly ready to answer questions like “Mom, where is my Mariners T-shirt?” and “Mom, where is my math book?”
Scheduler. Making sure kids appear at doctor and dentist appointments, slumber parties, practices, school conferences and other requests for their presence.
Story teller. Transitioning children into a nice sleep with a quiet, relaxing tale.
Study hall monitor. Making sure homework is done right — not just done .
Supervisor. Making sure chores are completed; teaching the kids a strong work ethic.
Teacher. From the ABCs to how to put on panty hose, moms are there to lovingly instruct their children.
Travel agent. Making sure family trips are interesting and fun.
Woman. Sharing with sisters and other female friends the ageless secrets of femininity and womanhood.
Worker. Fitting one more job on top of the dozens involved in running a family. And, when time allows, Person. After all the other jobs are done, some time for herself. No wonder I sometimes find my wife asleep, TV on, glasses askew, magazine on her lap. It must be exhausting wearing so many hats all the time.
On this Mother’s Day let us raise a toast to our mothers, saluting and thanking her for everything she does to make each of our lives better.
Happy Mother’s Day.